- We're back in Phoenix. We returned to a busted car window and a half-stolen stereo (the faceplate is gone and there's possible damage to the unit). None of the other cars were damaged, thank goodness.

- The cats have been merrily trashing the apartment. All of the stuff that was on a horizontal surface above the floor met the furious power of Jjigae's great swishing tail and is now scattered willy-nilly everywhere. Also, there is kitty vomit on the carpet. *glares at Squish*

- I've been under the weather health-wise, but starting to recover. Bleh.

- There are 73 unread messages in my inbox. If you need to get in touch with me for the next couple of days, call my phone.

- Brandon's Livejournal is suspended right now (long, stupid story and not his fault). He's trying to get it resolved as soon as possible. If you need to contact him, email might work best.

- More than anything, I'm ready to start looking forward, with everything that such an endeavor entails.

We're in Arkansas now. Thanks to everyone who offered condolences, and double thanks to those of you in the Phoenix area who are giving us a hand with things so we can be out here.

Brandon is holding up. This is going to be a hard week, though.


I can't tell you how much I hope that this is the last death that we'll have to deal with this year.

My father-in-law passed away unexpectedly of an aneurysm earlier tonight. If you have a moment, please send Brandon condolences here.

I officially lost my job yesterday. They had originally told us that we'd finish on the 11th, then last week guessed the finish date to be Wednesday or Thursday. At the end of the day on Tuesday, they "surprised" us by telling us that our services were no longer needed.

I've spent today tracking down every job lead I could find. Many, many thanks to all of you who commented with useful ideas, contacts, or sympathy.

( Things I've done so far: )

Am I forgetting anything?

Tomorrow, I'm applying to even more jobs and a few recruiting agencies. I also have two leads on tutoring positions that I need to investigate. Additionally, I might take a trip down to the local school district office to see what they have available and to get their thoughts on my eligibility to teach. Cold-calling is next, once I figure out where it is that I could call. I've already looked into the cool theater and museum jobs this side of town - they're all either unpaid or through the local government, and the government isn't hiring. Fie.

C'mon job mojo!

Time for me to post about something that's not about grief.


My job with the standardized testing place wraps up sometime next week. They had told us that our project would end on the 11th, but employment is contingent on work. Once the tests run out, you're out of a job. I had known this from the start, but I had expected to find a replacement gig by now.

(I might have a small part-time opportunity with a catering company run by one of the supervisors, but nothing's going to be happening until August. If nothing else, it'll give me a little extra money for groceries, but it's not the sort of job that I can really lean on.)

The interview that I had posted about a month ago with the Children's Theater never happened. I was supposed to go in on the day that I got the news about my brother, so I had to call and leave a message asking to reschedule. A few days later, I received an email telling me that the position had been filled. It's really a shame - I was excited about the job, and it was a rare opportunity in a city where theater jobs are few and far between.

My next step will probably be something in administration. bluepony has promised me the contact info for her employment agency recruiter - I'm really hoping that it'll lead somewhere. Whatever it is, I need something, and soon. Not only do I need to come up with about $1300 by the end of this month for rent and bills, but Brandon just might kill me if I sigh loudly one more time while I ponder my looming unemployment and mounting debt.


In the meantime, I'm cruising the job boards and scanning want ads in the vague hope that some perfect job combining non-profit administration, education, and theater will present itself. I've been half-tempted to post a "job wanted" ad, something along the lines of "Bright young woman with nice smile and excellent professional demeanor seeking LTR with good job. Must be dependable and financially stable. Will answer all serious replies not involving the sex industry or anything promising to make me millions at home."

Think it would work?

I don't know how much I'll be writing that's public for a while. Losing my brother hurts, and it's not really the sort of pain that I'm willing to share with the world at large.

I'll be posting a few things about him soon. To spare people who prefer to read memes on their friendslist instead of angsty personal shit, I'm going to make a "grief filter". If you knew him, I'll put you on there unless you wish to be left out. If you didn't know him but don't mind reading, comment and I'll put you on there as well.


I am not fine, but I am coping. I hope writing will be a good way for me to sort of some of the tangled emotions that I have in reaction to his death.

The funeral for Andrew Eric Rettig will be on Monday, June 2 at Flanner Buchanan Cemetery. The address is 10612 East Washington Street.

The viewing will be at 11:00 for the public. Services will follow at 1:30. It'll be very informal - if you wish to say a few words about him, let me know so I can organize a rough schedule.

Charitable contributions can be made to ABATE, a motorcycle safety foundation.

My brother was killed in a motorcycle crash early this morning.

Funeral details are forthcoming. I'll post more when I find out.

Add "rappelling off of a mountainside into 60 feet of nothingness" to the Scariest Things I've Ever Done list. Put it somewhere in the Top 5, please.

( In which I describe why this was such a terrifying experience )

A friend snapped photographic proof of it here and here.

I just made the most kick-ass salad!

This one is inspired by something that whispernox made me once when we lived together. I decided to add tofu to give it some protein. However, tofu is bland as hell out of the package, so I needed to cook it in something. The reduction (and I think I'm using the right term) was pure luck in that I threw it all together and it tasted good on the first try.

The cooked tofu is pretty awesome all by itself, but when you add in the cool sweetness of the strawberries and the crunchiness of the vegetables, the flavors really stand out.

( The recipe )

5:45 a.m. - One of the cats persistently scratch at the litterbox, waking me up. I get up and chase them out.

5:55 a.m. - The guy with the SUPER LOUD bike warms up underneath our window.

6:05 a.m. - Cat fight.

6:10 a.m. - Jjigae starts eating one of my bags. I chase him out of the bedroom.

6:15 a.m. - Tossing and turning.

6:20 a.m. - I get up and move to the couch to not wake Brandon.

6:55 a.m. - Phone call. I've won some online contest for free lasers.


Alright, universe, you win. I'm up.

Despite not having any sort of gainful employment, Brandon and I have been filling up our days with no problem. It's amazed me how much stuff we've needed to accomplish to settle in after being out of the country.


( Good things )

We're here in Phoenix!

The truck was a behemoth, especially with a car being towed behind it, but Brandon operated it like a professional. I drove a teeny little bit (through the boring parts of Texas and New Mexico), but mostly Brandon just drove and drove and drove.


The Southwest is amazing. I was agog at the scenery on the drive to Phoenix, and continued to be agog at the purples of the flowers and greenness of the citrus trees that grow everywhere in town. Who knew that the desert could be this colorful?


I'm really pleased at our new apartment. It has beautiful windows, high ceilings, and a nice kitchen. We have our own cactus growing by our front door. It's going to be a pain to move our furniture up the narrow entry stairs, but I'm sure we'll manage.


There's so much to do, like unloading our truck, setting up the apartment, finding a vehicle, getting a driver's license, and finding a job. (I'm a little intimidated by the prospect of that last one. Okay, really intimidated.)

But at least we're here!!

I've been spending this past week sorting through all of the stuff that I'd stashed away in my brother's garage for the past two years. Space will be tight in the moving van that I'll be driving to Arkansas this weekend, so I'm trying to be brutal in assessing what goes with me and what needs to be sold, donated, or simply trashed.

Some things I've found:

- Every note that trly_g0n_fishng ever wrote me in middle school and high school.
- My elementary school spelling bee awards.
- A 5 dollar bill (whoo!) and a 50 dollar check (D'OH!!) left in my high school graduation cards.
- The wreath that I wore at my mother's second wedding. In 1987.
- The journal that I began at 10 and kept until I was 22.
- A fundamentalist Christian pro-creationism comic book.
- A collection of circa 1970's "Dealing with Depression" pamphlets.
- leef's dress shirt.
- An essay about the WWII Danish resistance movement that I wrote in fifth grade.
- A set of quasi-occult theology books from the early 1900s.
- Very nearly every Hallmark card I've ever received.

It's been an epic couple of days. I'm sitting in the Yeosu airport, tired but glad that we've managed everything thus far. I felt a twinge of regret as we passed the mountains that I've grown to love so much, but mostly I'm just ready. Ready to see my family. Ready to move on to the next adventure.

Our next stop is Seoul, then Tokyo, then Chicago, then home. Home sounds so good right now.

I know that this is only the first part of a very full month, but it feels wonderful to close this part of my life successfully.

We are four days away from leaving Yeosu, and six days from leaving Korea for what is probably for good. I am more fine with this than I expected to be, even with all of the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

We're in the process of packing what needs to be packed while shipping, selling, and giving away the rest.
(wearebarnacles came over this weekend, was all-around awesome and delightful, and left with a big box of hopefully very useful stuff.) I'm reallllly trying to not be a packrat this time around. Instead, I'm trying to look at it as a lesson in non-attachment. Traveling so soon before we move has helped - I keep reminding myself that I can be perfectly fine with very little, and I that I really don't need 400 konglish t-shirts, even if they are all fantastic.

We're not quite done with school, although we haven't taught since the 13th. The (now former) head teacher insisted that we come in today for a meeting. When we got there, we helped move some stuff around until the new head teacher stopped to talk to us. The conversation basically went:

New head teacher: Um, so why are you guys here today?
Us: Well, Mrs. (old head teacher) told us to come in.
NHT: Why?
Us: We have no idea. Can we ask you for a favor?
NHT: (talks to administration, who is trying to pull a fast one with our final paycheck) Okay, I think that's resolved. You can go home now if you like.
Us: See ya.

That never would have happened with our old boss, a woman so incredibly incompetent that it's a wonder that she remembers to dress herself in the morning. I will not miss her.

So, all in all, we're doing pretty well. I have lots of things to accomplish between now and Friday, and then I have to deal with a patience-testing trans-Pacific trip with a cranky husband and a panicked cat. But after that...a whole week of family and food will be mine to enjoy. I can't wait.

Updates of a miscellaneous nature:

I'm finished with teaching for the year! Now it's time to kick back, catch up on emails, scrapbook, and read at my desk. There's absolutely nothing that we need to do, but we're still required to come in for our office hours. I'm never going to be paid for loafing this much again, so I might as well enjoy it.

We've begun packing and selling off some of our stuff to other teachers in town. Speaking of which, if any of you in Korea know someone who might want a sewing machine, an oven, or a microwave, let me know.

My birthday is coming up next week. To celebrate, I'm using some of my Asiana miles for a flight up to Seoul to see Bjork in concert.

I'll probably go through our photos from Nepal soon and put them on my webshots account. Brandon's already done extensive photo posts, so I feel a little redundant in commenting on the same things here. I might just put my thoughts up on my travel journal and leave a link here.

Valentine's Day is not a big deal to me, but my former host sister was sweet enough to leave fancy chocolates on our desks. A morning with chocolate enhances the decadence of doing sweet fuck-all in the office.

Brandon and I are both in the throes of the Evil Tummy Bug of Nepal. I've been sick longer, but Brandon's worse off. We've both been laying around the house and clutching our stomachs all day. (Thank goodness we made it back to Yeosu before it hit Brandon full-strength.)

The flights home were rough. I spent portions of it alternately sweating and shivering, barely able to move without my guts cramping in pain. We left Kathmandu's Thamel district just before noon; we dumped our packs in our living room about 20 hours later.

I finally talked the boy into going to the hospital across the street this afternoon for treatment. It's Lunar New Year, so there was only a medical assistant on duty. Miraculously, he spoke pretty decent English. He checked us for parasites (no evidence so far) and told us to come back tomorrow when the doctor's back. We're under orders to not eat anything for the next twelve hours, which is difficult because I've not had anything other than crackers all day. Hunger, oddly enough, makes me nauseous.

I have lots and lots to say about Nepal, but I'll save it for when I'm feeling a little less delicate.

I left this city in a hurry the last time I was here, sick of moping around by myself and more than a little desperate to get back to my then brand-new husband. Not so this time. We're just here for two nights on a stopover to Kathmandu, but I'm absolutely thrilled to soak in the sights and sounds of Thailand just one more time.

The air is balmy; even at 11:00 at night, I'm comfortable in a tank top and my favorite skirt. It's quite the change from the snow and dreary skies of Seoul. In an afternoon, we've eaten curry and mangoes, had incredible massages, bought souvenirs, and wandered the backpacker ghettos people-watching. I feel completely relaxed and happy.

Tomorrow will bring more good food, temple sightseeing, and possibly some shopping. I want to go to Wat Po, one of my favorite temples of all time.

I'm looking at all of this as our last big crazy adventure in Asia, so I'm hoping to soak up as much of it as I can. Expect lots of photos!

Two years ago at this time, I was in a van heading into Seoul. It was colder than I'd expected, and I was exhausted from the long flight and from crying my eyes out all week. I was sandwiched between two girls - we were making awkward small talk because we were going to be living together for the next six weeks. I peered out at the city, wondering what it held for me. I was convinced that I'd made a mistake in coming here.

Two years. Wow.